Dear Friend,
I’ve been thinking about you lately — and about how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I tried meditation once, but my mind just wouldn’t stop running. I guess I’m not cut out for it.”
Maybe you’ve felt that way, too.
It’s such a common belief: that meditation is supposed to “empty the mind” or “quiet every thought.” And I’ll let you in on a secret — even after 20 years of meditation, when I sit down, my mind still goes a little wild. That chatter doesn’t disappear. And honestly? It’s not supposed to.
Our brains evolved to scan, to worry, to throw up random thoughts — it’s how our ancestors stayed alive in the jungle. So when you sit still and your mind races, that’s not you failing; that’s your brain doing what it was designed to do.
So if meditation isn’t about emptying your mind, what is it about?
It’s about learning to skillfully manage your thinking.
You know that moment when you’re telling a joke and there’s a second voice in your head judging your timing, predicting whether people will laugh, or telling you to speed up or slow down? That’s your mind’s built-in commentator — a function scientists call metacognition, or “thinking about your thinking.”
That inner observer is always there, but untrained, it can be a harsh, noisy, even unhelpful critic. Meditation is the practice of noticing that voice, befriending it, and gently guiding it so it can help you instead of sabotage you.
An example of skillful reframing
One of my students once told me how overwhelmed she felt at the end of her semester. She rattled off her list: “I have to write three papers. I have to take two finals. I have to pack. I have to find a job…”
I suggested a simple shift: instead of saying “I have to,” try saying “I get to.”
“I get to write three papers. I get to travel. I get to look for a job.”
That tiny reframing completely changed her relationship with her tasks — and her stress levels.
This is what it means to shift your thinking — not to stop thoughts, but to guide them into forms that serve you.
The voice of your intuitive self
When I teach, I often describe this inner observer as your authentic self — your deepest, wisest voice. Some traditions might call it your soul; scientists might call it intuitive intelligence. Whatever you call it, it’s real, and it’s powerful.
Here in the West, we glorify rational intelligence and let our intuitive intelligence atrophy — like trying to live with half our brain. Meditation is how we reawaken that intuitive side so we can live more fully.
Pausing to check in
At Plum Village, the monastery founded by the beloved monk Thích Nhất Hạnh, a bell rings randomly throughout the day. When it does, everyone pauses, asks themselves “How am I? How does my body feel? How does my mind feel?” They follow the sound of the bell into a moment of silence. Then, as the sound fades, they return to their work — more centered and calm.
You don’t need a monastery bell. Even brief pauses throughout your day can reconnect you with yourself.
Building mental strength
In today’s world of instant gratification, we try to escape discomfort at every turn. But meditation isn’t about escape — it’s about gently building resilience. Like going to the gym strengthens your muscles so you can lift more, meditation strengthens your mind so life’s challenges don’t knock you down as easily — or keep you down as long.
The discomforts of life don’t disappear, but you grow stronger.
The simplicity of practice
These aren’t new ideas; they’re ancient practices refined over thousands of years. And you don’t need to move to a monastery or chant mantras for years. In the Koru course, all I ask is an hour a week in class, plus 10 minutes of practice a day for five weeks.
If you can show up for that, you can learn what meditation truly is — and what it can bring to your life.
With warm wishes,
Bob
Science tells us that we can’t quiet the right side, but we can balance it by building up the left side.